Skip to content

Living with a chronic disease

Menu
  • Home
  • Everyday life
  • Relationships
  • Self-care
  • 10 questions
  • Be in touch
Menu

10 questions to…Michael Zakall

Posted on 29 January 202229 January 2022 by Clotilde

Tall and slim, a sunny smile, charged with positive energy, these were my first impressions of Michael Zakall when I first meet him. But the trained actor has been suffering from a chronic bowel disease since 2015, which has turned all his projects upside down and made him find a new way for himself.

Very motivating and extremely inspiring, that’s how I would describe my conversation with Michael!


1) Who are you and what is your chronic disease?

My name is Michael Zakall. I am a trained musical performer and actor. Since 2015 I have been suffering from a chronic bowel disease, Ulcerative Colitis – it took me a very long time to learn this name! – which affects the last part of the intestine. Before that, I didn’t even have an allergy.


2) How does it affect your life?

The chronic disease comes in episodes, maybe it’s the most important feature. It inflames the intestines. It means I have to go to the toilet much more often than normal. I have much more severe diarrhoea and worse bowel movements with pain. Because I lose a lot of fluid through my bowels, I also have nutritional problems, much more than others. I am physically much less fit and weaker. When the chronic disease is very severe, then it is both a physical and a psychological burden, because nutrient deficiencies cause more “biological breaks”. This has professional implications, in my choice of job, but also impacts on everyday life, which has to be organized quite differently.


3) How did your family and friends deal with it or deal with it now?

In the beginning, when the chronic illness was new, it was very difficult because of course nobody had a clue, including me, how to deal with it: nobody knew what the right way to deal with it was. Learning to find the right communication was difficult.

There were also people who always wanted to help, although there was nothing they could do to help. That was very difficult: my family, for example, wanted to help a lot.

I distanced myself a lot from my friends who were more passively involved in the whole thing: They could not do anything about it, neither talk to me about it nor stand by me. While the friends who were just there and did nothing did everything right, the friends who were there and mainly wanted to do something did everything wrong. It was very difficult to find a basis for understanding each other. In the meantime, they all deal with it very well. They have learned to simply have an open ear when I say that I’m not doing well, that I’m having problems at the moment, that it’s starting again, that I’m having mood swings, that I’m too eager, even if it shouldn’t necessarily be because the situation doesn’t look so good. Meanwhile, they all accept it very well. I have “won back” all my family and friends and I have also prepared them well for when bad phases come again, when the relapses become stronger.


“The most difficult thing was the acceptance.” – Michael Zakall


4) What was, or is, the most difficult thing about the disease?

The most difficult thing was the acceptance. It was accepting that the disease will not go away, that I will have it all my life.

Learning to deal with the disease was also difficult: learning what is right, what is wrong, what is good for me, what is not good for me.

Reorienting my life was another difficulty: I had to turn everything completely upside down. I had to question what I thought I knew and change it for this new situation. I simply stopped holding on to what I was trying to save and let go. You don’t have to let go forever either. I have had to make a different person out of myself, and still stay true to myself.


5) What are you most proud of having achieved despite your disease?

Achieving my goals and my vision.

I am a trained musical performer and actor, but I hung up my career as I had originally pursued it: to be in the theatre, to lead a nomadic life and to be on the stages of German-speaking countries.

The vision of being happy and fulfilled by what I do has remained the same. I gave up my career but still looked for the goals that make me happy and continued to pursue them. That is something I am most proud of, as well as having regained the state of “being happy”.  I used to have the opportunity to entertain and make people happy with musicals. Now, without wanting to be a preacher, I can simply inspire people, motivate them and make them think differently. That’s a much higher goal than entertaining people.


6) Is there something you would have done differently?

There are several ways in which this condition can be triggered. One argument is that it can be triggered by salmonella poisoning, by having an intestinal infection. I had a very serious salmonella poisoning back in 2015, three months before the chronic disease developed. If I could change something – although I don’t know if it’s that, of course: not eating that salmon roll at the airport, which tasted very good.

Not that I blame myself. I didn’t know any better, I wouldn’t have even begun to think it was wrong at the time, because that was a very well-known, high-end, expensive restaurant where I ate that, even if it was in the airport. Still, I always think to myself, “Why did I do it?” But I could never have reacted differently because I chose something good, right, safe that was still wrong. I kept thinking, “Why did this have to happen? Why was in that place on that day?”

But I would never, even if I hadn’t known what it entailed, have reacted differently. You don’t take the cheap or the bad version, of course, but obviously the one where you say, “Nothing could happen there!”


7) What keeps you motivated?

A vision of how I want to live my life and what I want to achieve, what kind of life I want to have. That keeps me motivated.

What also keeps me motivated is the thought that chronic diseases come, relapses can come, but they also go. Everything that goes down eventually goes up.

People who accompany me positively in my life, people around me who have a positive mindset, are a motivating factor.

And ultimately pursuing my goals also keeps me motivated.


8) A lesson learned?

Don’t go beyond your limits if you don’t have to, and in most cases, you don’t have to. Limits are there to be tested – is such a saying. But it doesn’t have to be. Instead, look at yourself, at what is good for you. Don’t measure yourself against the achievements of others, because everyone never pursues the same goals, even if they look that way on the surface. But everyone has different prerequisites. Compare yourself in a positive sense to feel motivated. But once motivation is achieved, stop comparing yourself to others and compare yourself to your past performance.


9) A word of advice?

If you have a chronic disease, or are diagnosed with one, try to talk to people and get all the information you can. At the same time, have patience and understanding for your body and the situation. Don’t beat yourself up!

Say to yourself: “Everything is fine the way I’m doing it, because I’m doing it to the best of my ability anyway.”

Question what you think you know from time to time. Otherwise, you always tend to do the same thing that is not right. You don’t get anywhere because you don’t see what’s outside the box.


“Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean you have to accept your fate and can’t still learn something positive from it.” – Michael Zakall


10) One last word for the end ?

This chronic disease, as bad as it is, as unpleasant as it is, has taught me more positives than negatives and has definitely made me a better person. By changing myself, I have also had a bit of a positive impact on other people.

Just because bad things happen doesn’t mean you have to accept your fate and can’t still learn something positive from it. 

I also don’t want to say that it’s the right and only attitude. Maybe sometimes it’s too naive. But as long as I remain flexible, hopefully nothing can happen to me. When circumstances change, I change myself and my attitude. Then I hope I have enough strength to go through with it. If I don’t have it, then I just don’t have it. Still, nothing is lost.


Picture by Michael Zakall

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blog in other languages

  • Deutsch
  • Français

On social media

About

Hello! My name is Clotilde Aubet. I grew up and still live in Austria, even though I am French. I have had a chronic disease for more than 10 years now. In this blog, I want to share tips and ideas on how to live a fulfilling life with a chronic disease.

For more information, check out this page.

Newsletter

Be in touch

Legal information

  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
© 2023 Living with a chronic disease | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Wir verwenden Cookies auf unserer Website, um Ihnen das relevanteste Erlebnis zu bieten, indem wir uns an Ihre Präferenzen und wiederholten Besuche erinnern. Indem Sie auf "Accept" klicken, erklären Sie sich mit der Verwendung von ALLEN Cookies einverstanden.
Nous utilisons des cookies sur notre site web pour vous offrir une expérience plus pertinente en mémorisant vos préférences et vos visites répétées. En cliquant sur "Accept", vous consentez à l'utilisation de TOUS les cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.

Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihre Erfahrung zu verbessern, während Sie durch die Website navigieren. Von diesen werden die als notwendig eingestuften Cookies auf Ihrem Browser gespeichert, da sie für das Funktionieren der grundlegenden Funktionen der Website unerlässlich sind. Wir verwenden auch Cookies von Drittanbietern, die uns helfen zu analysieren und zu verstehen, wie Sie diese Website nutzen. Diese Cookies werden nur mit Ihrer Zustimmung in Ihrem Browser gespeichert. Sie haben auch die Möglichkeit, diese Cookies abzulehnen. Das Ablehnen einiger dieser Cookies kann jedoch Ihr Surferlebnis beeinträchtigen.

Ce site web utilise des cookies pour améliorer votre expérience lorsque vous naviguez sur le site. Parmi ceux-ci, les cookies classés comme nécessaires sont stockés sur votre navigateur car ils sont essentiels au fonctionnement des fonctionnalités de base du site web. Nous utilisons également des cookies de tiers qui nous aident à analyser et à comprendre comment vous utilisez ce site web. Ces cookies ne seront stockés dans votre navigateur qu'avec votre consentement. Vous avez également la possibilité de refuser ces cookies. Toutefois, la désactivation de certains de ces cookies peut affecter votre expérience de navigation.
Necessary
Always Enabled
ENG: Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information. // DE: Notwendige Cookies sind für das ordnungsgemäße Funktionieren der Website unbedingt erforderlich. Diese Kategorie umfasst nur Cookies, die grundlegende Funktionalitäten und Sicherheitsmerkmale der Website gewährleisten. Diese Cookies speichern keine persönlichen Informationen. // FR: Les cookies sont absolument nécessaires pour le bon fonctionnement du site web. Cette catégorie ne comprend que les cookies qui assurent les fonctionnalités de base et les fonctions de sécurité du site web. Ces cookies ne stockent aucune information personnelle.
Non-necessary
ENG: Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on the website. // DE: Als nicht notwendige Cookies werden alle Cookies bezeichnet, die für das Funktionieren der Website nicht unbedingt notwendig sind und speziell zur Sammlung von personenbezogenen Daten der Nutzer über Analysen, Anzeigen oder andere eingebettete Inhalte verwendet werden. Es ist zwingend erforderlich, die Zustimmung des Nutzers einzuholen, bevor Sie diese Cookies auf der Website einsetzen. // FR: Les cookies qui ne sont pas particulièrement nécessaires au fonctionnement du site web et qui sont utilisés spécifiquement pour collecter des données personnelles de l\'utilisateur par le biais d\'analyses, de publicités ou d\'autres contenus intégrés sont appelés cookies non nécessaires. Il est obligatoire d\'obtenir le consentement de l\'utilisateur avant de placer ces cookies sur le site web.
SAVE & ACCEPT